hmmm;;

blank..

hmm, i really want to write another blog. i have wanted to for a while now. but every time i sit here, ready to write, i just ..blank.

usually it's because if i do have something to say, its so obvious. i don't have to blog it to let someone know I'm pissed at them, and it isn't nice; and then it goes how it always does, you make up and then everyone else sees your nasty post on the Internet. mmm bad move, think I'll avoid it.
so then, what to write?? what's happened in the life of Lydia? okay, well we have.. school, an electricity black out - which btw totally sucked, making notices for babysitting - yes you read right, babysitting :s, Ooo and Shelby's 18th. hmm, that's something to write about ..

well here we go. i went to a party where i knew people, but didn't have any friends.. very awkward, my solution.. join into a drinking game. yeahhh.. .. alot of alcohol THAT quickly doesn't go well with me and hence i became the drunk girl being looked after by some random who i don't even know.
the points of the night i remember:
-telling some random ranger that lots of people don't like him;
-blank;
-Pru hugging me for ages;
-dancing drunkenly on a platform higher than the dance floor;
-blank;
-some guy telling me i didn't know anything about my life cause i was just a baby;
-blank;
-oh and blank.

drank wayyy over my limit.
anyways.. I'm fair sure that the birthday girl had an awesome time :)

promise .. next party i shall be sober.

Scooters, Vacation, Fall;;

i don't know if its me..
if i don't try hard enough, or if i'm subconsciously doing it.
i know what i feel and what i think.. ..and you used to too.. but these days it just seems to be slipping. i miss you.

just awesome;;

just listen, dont say much, DONT ask "why?" and say sorry.
- amanda

.. The advice that contradicts every part of my personality.. Even so I complied. I just listened, listened to the conversation go from me being deceitful to being a slut. I personally thought it was unnecessary, but hey, isn’t that what everyone else thinks anyways? Why not throw in mum and dad believing it too?
The conclusion to our wonderful 'chat' is that I’m a disappointment, and as I can only take it.. That they want me gone. Perfect or gone.
Well I will be soon cause I’m sure as hell not perfect, I’ll leave you whenever I can . maybe I should just run away.. Catch a bus and not know where its going. start over. new life. new people.
yuck I’m sounding dramatic. fuck it..



who cares right?

Amanda;;

amanda has a big wang