You have the rain to appreciate the sun;;

He said it’s not my fault. Doesn’t that just fit so cliché, something checked off a list that’s stuffed into his back pocket? They’re just words. And I’m not stupid. I’m know I’m not good enough, I never have been; how I got him in the first place is beyond me, cause I am, I’m nothing.

Wonder if kissing her was on his list though? I thought after everything that happened last time he’d realise of everyone that’d gut me the most; but then I suppose I would, (in a non lesbian way), she’s everything I’m not; You know that girl at school, who walks into a room and beats down the self esteem of every girl there, well yeah, that’s her.. The difference but, is that that usual girl is someone you don’t know, don’t talk to; this one is one of the most beautiful people I’ve met. And I could never be upset at her, ever. So who do I be upset at? Him? Myself? What difference does it make? Holding grudges just causes misery, and I always seem to learn that the hard way; but then if I am so carefree about everything, do the people I’m closest to just take advantage of it?

Drunk People; they come in many different shapes and sizes...

· Happy drunks

· Sad drunks

· Aggressive drunks

· Slutty drunks

· Honest drunks

· Talkative drunks

· Story telling drunks

Usually I fit into the happy drunk section;; and I love it. It creates great adventures and long DNM’s. Last night though honesty got the better of me and successfully made me pathetic.

You always want to know what I’m thinking... Well did you expect this? That I’d tell the whole world that I love you.

I shouldn’t have said what I did last night, it was pointless, useless.

The only thing that’s good about me is that I’m passionate, and strong for what I feel or believe;; but I don’t even have that anymore. I’m so weak. Why would I give up someone who means everything to me to make my life ‘easier’? Because I thought he’d wait for me? Maybe, all I know is that it’s the first time I’ve thought with my head instead of my heart; and it’s the stupidest decision I’ve ever made in my life.

The hardest thing: and what I suppose I should of realised a long time ago, is knowing that you loved someone more than they loved you. Yeah, this is where I fall off.